Holding Loosely

Star Lake, NY. I’ve photographed this house many times. Never really getting what I wanted. I was aiming for a retro camp vibe. 35mm ORWO Wolfen NC 500 on a Sears KS 500 SLR.

I've been thinking a lot lately around this idea of holding things loosely.

I tend to grip everything in my life with a white knuckled intensity. I don't want to fuck up. I want to enjoy it right. I want to explain it properly. I want to get out of it what I wanted to get out of it. I want to control the outcome. That's how this trip started out. For the first few days I couldn't get in step with being on vacation. I felt restless. I took my camera with me wherever I went. I spent a lot of time squinting though my viewfinder and shaking my head. Nothing looked the way I wanted it to. I felt like I wasn't vacationing right.

Wanakena, NY. 35mm ORWO Wolfen NC 500 on a vintage Sears KS 500 SLR.

Thursday night was different.

We had our big communal dinner, friends and family sitting shoulder to shoulder, on a rickety screened in porch while a thunderstorm broke over our heads. The rain misted in through the mesh of the screen windows and settled on my shoulders while we ate. Something changed.

As we cleared the table the sun started to set, right as the storm clouds passed. The sky lit up pale yellow. I knew I wanted to see what it looked like down by the lake.

I'd been on a kayak for the first time in my life that morning. So I felt a little nervous sliding the boat into the water alone, like a little kid doing something I didn't get permission for.

Star Lake, NY. Little red house again. Different light. Camera: Kodak PixPro WPZ2

Paddling out onto the water I could see the sun setting just behind the hills to my right. I paddled further out into the lake to get a better look past Scott's Point. When I came around the bend the sun was lighting up the swirling remnants of the storm.

I'd found what I was looking for.

Sometimes you just have to show up and see what happens.

Star Lake, NY. I was pretty happy with this shot, but it is foreshadowing a picture to come. Shot on a Kodak PixPro WPZ2.

Star Lake, NY. There are a few islands out on the lake with vacation homes tucked away on them. You have to get there by boat. Camera: Kodak PixPro WPZ2

Star Lake, NY. This little white boat house will be showing up again as well. Camera: Kodak PixPro WPZ2